Today morning I woke up at 6AM. It was slightly dark outside. The weather of Delhi is really bad now. It is too hot and humid but this is the only time of the day when it’s pleasant. I made some hot water and mixed the water with my filtered coffee. Yes my coffee is ready. I sat on my couch and sipped the coffee. I felt that the house is empty, in a 3BHK house I am staying alone and I am enjoying every part of this loneliness.
I think somebody has told you that it is not natural, that you like to be alone. I have heard this many times too. But trust me here is nothing wrong in loving the loneliness. When you have start enjoying you loneliness that means you have started loving yourself. Now of course you are thinking that from childhood you have learned that you should love others and loving yourself fully is not a good thing.
Ahh, lets forget that for now. If you love yourself and your own presence are different from the loves you have heard of. It is the time when you literally talk to yourself. Are you thinking that I am talking about schizophrenia, well no I am not talk about that. It is always good to face your heart and mind. We try to avoid that always. When I know that she doesn’t love me and the relationship is really not working out, then just to avoid complexities we drag it.
If you love to be alone the best thing is that you can give yourself more time. You get to do things you like and love. You can wear what you feel like. If you like to wear an old shirt and you always avoid it because someone hates it, then today is the time go for it.
Life is short. You make your own life, everyone around you are just some factors. Don’t allow them to interfere where you don’t eat interference. Life is a love and love is full of experiences and a journey. Here when you have started loving your loneliness that means you crossed all the barriers of what people thinks about you. Life is not what people thinks, your life is just yours. Don’t love for anyone but for yourself. Without your parents nobody really wants to know the stories of your failures but wants to hear. It gives a pleasure of win. So don’t bother. Whatever you are today is something you have made.
The days are waiting for you. The time you will start loving your loneliness you will that you have loved the silence. The darkness of the city which you have always avoided, you will feel that in darkness you can only feel yourself. You need some time to talk to you. You can’t love everyone and get the love from everyone. But think about it, you can love yourself fully and reciprocate it.
Do whatever you love. If you love dancing and you have left it because you got married. Then start it. If you think you wanted to visit the mountains alone but never made it. Take a paper and make your wish list. Do whatever you you always wanted to do. Give yourself a chance to say that you have at least loved yourself. May be for once you have done something which you really wanted to do.
Loneliness is not bad. When you start loving loving your loneliness, you start loving your life.
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